Both my little sisters and a couple of my friends all have had babies in the last year or so and I think they gave me a good heads up of what to expect when you're pregnant. There's tons of good baby books out there, but who reads them before getting "knocked up?" Even if you did read baby books before pregnancy a few things might get left out, so I'm here to prepare you.
1) Morning sickness is a misnomer
You may get sick in the afternoons and in the evening, I even got sick in the middle of the night a few times. Morning sickness may continue your entire pregnancy too! My friend Mo's did, and I'm 8 months today and still get sick a few times a week. I suggest never letting your tummy get empty (hard to do, I know, when you're queasy) and also try eating protein rich snacks over the standard crackers/dry cereal. Sometimes plain carbs on an empty tummy may make you more sick. I eat alot of boiled eggs, yogurt, fruit and pudding cups, cereal and milk, dried fruit/ regular fruit with cheese, and cheese or peanut butter with my crackers. I drink lemon ginger tea and take motion sickness medicine. Avoid drinking anything with your meals, strong smells, tight clothes, anything spicy, fried or hard to digest.Also don't go anywhere without snacks, water, a fresh shirt, tic tacs or a mini toothbrush, and some plastic bags. I started bringing bags after an incident where I couldn't really pull over...I'll bet you can guess the rest. Yuck!
2) Start preparing early
By this I mean don't wait until you're 7 months along to stock up on baby items because waiting that long might make you frantic or cause nightmares like my sis mar had. Besides, it's alot easier to navigate baby aisles when your tummy is smaller, before you get huge with swollen feet and back aches... I started collecting baby gear at about 4 1/2 to 5 months along. Most of Belladonna's stuff is good to go, the bassinet is made up, we're going to install the cars seats this week and I started packing her hospital bag last night. There's diapers and baby shampoo, clothes, blankets and books all waiting. Our baby shower is probably just going to be a diaper party since I already have most everything else we need.
3) Develop invisible earplugs
Because once people, mostly complete strangers, realize you are having a baby they suddenly feel compelled to tell you horror stories or offer the most ridiculous unsolicited advice. My doctor says he wishes pregnant moms didn't listen to any of the craziness and old wives tales they hear, and my friend Liz said to ignore them. I've heard very, very,scary birth stories (4 day labor, failed epidurals, 30 stitches,etc..), been told to not travel to Denver because the elevation is to high, don't raise my arms up because the umbilical cord might get tangled, and was told to not ride a bike at all.
The worst is that no matter how you carry your little one someone will have something to say. Carrying big? They'll tell you must be ready to pop at any moment. Carrying small? They'll tell you to baby must be "too" small. My doctor also says that short women always want to know why they're so big, and tall/ slim girls like me want to know why their bump isn't ginormous like everyone says it should be. Who cares how big the baby bump is if baby is developing beautifully like mine? I just reply with a shrug and a "doctor says she's perfect, and I've always been skinny. Aren't I lucky?" or "I'm sorry to hear your birth/pregnancy was scary, luckily I've had no complications so far."
4) You don't need everything they sell
This means that you honestly do not need everything sold in baby stores. Maybe you have an unlimited budget and several empty rooms in which to store tons of crap, but most of us mortals don't need that much. My dear husband says that baby retailers think that being a mom means you have "sucker" tattooed on your forehead. I live in a small apartment so we're going to co-sleep because it's easier for midnight breast feeding and space and use a bassinet for naps. You will need some basics, but beyond that don't buy the hype. If you can, ask real moms what they actually ended up using, and don't buy multiple items unless you genuinely need 2 of something.. I'm not buying grocery seat covers because germ wipes will work fine. On the other hand, we have 2 cars so having 2 car seats will make life easier. Which is the real reason to buy baby stuff in the first place.
5) When pregnant, taking care of you IS taking care of baby
Do you sometimes feel guilty or selfish when you focus on you? DON'T. Healthy happy mom = healthy happy baby. If you're tired a nap is good for both of you. Don't be afraid to take a day off work when you need to, you have a lot going right now.When you are stressed your little one is exposed to stress hormones, and when you are calm baby is exposed to soothing, happy hormones. Manicures and pedicures are good for the ego, and good grooming helps to keep you both healthy. Massages and comfortable shoes help promote good circulation. Taking time to eat nutritious meals and snacks helps baby's development. I always have a granola or protein bar and some trail mix in my bag. Even if you are really busy you can always eat healthfully, especially now that every fast food chain offers salad, yogurt, fruit, veggie or wrap options. When you feel good about yourself you'll feel more capable and prepared to tackle mommy-hood.
Lastly, don't forget to look after yourself when baby is born too! If you are running on empty and don't stop to care for yourself how do you expect to be fully engaged in being the best parent ever? You don't have to be a perfect supermom but make yourself, your partner and your baby the big priorities. Don't forget to ask for help when you need it: you probably have a friend or relative who can watch baby while you take a shower or maybe someone can help you with cooking and light house work.
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